


Breathe

by phanburnhamizzard



Category: Phandom, dan and phil, phan'
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape, Bondage, Gen, Kidnapping, M/M, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:06:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanburnhamizzard/pseuds/phanburnhamizzard
Summary: Summary: When Dan comes home a bit early, he finds a terrifying sceneWarning: This is a very dark story about friendship and heroes. This is not for everyone. Heed the trigger warnings below.Triggers: Rape (attempted, implied), bondage, violence, bruises, broken bones





	1. Breathe In

Dan held his breath for what felt like an eternity. 

Phil was bound tightly to the blue chair. His hands were behind the chair back, tied tightly with three white zip ties. The skin, usually pale, was tinted slightly pink from the restricted circulation. His elbows were bound together with rope, tied so tightly that they only missed touching by a few inches. Two cords of white rope looped down through the zip ties and back up to his elbows, cinching the two joints into a slight bend and ensuring he could not move them to the front of his body. 

The white satin rope continued around the front of his shoulders, then under his nipple line in a neat series of loops securing his chest to the chair back and ending in the knot between his elbows. His legs were spread apart, with both knees flexed back and held to the front legs of the chair while his feet were each firmly secured to the back legs. 

His eyes were covered by a red satin blindfold that the robber had found in a box of props. His mouth had been silenced by a large white handkerchief that filled both cheeks, and his lips were covered with a white piece of packing tape.

The only sound in the apartment was the air rushing in and out of Phil's nostrils. His breath was coming in short bursts. 

Dan's jaw was slackened and his lips were parted. He was oblivious to the trashed apartment and the ruined electronic equipment between the front door and his friend. He didn't notice the bare walls and the dangling wires. He didn't register the cracked mirror or the blown out bulbs in the swinging chandelier. 

All he saw was Phil. 

His body finally took in a deep gasp, and the sound made Phil startle violently with fear. 

"Phil! Phil, it's me", Dan said as he dashed across the apartment to his friend. "Phil, it's Dan. It's Dan. I'm here. It's okay. Phil, it's okay."

As he reached the chair, he heard a muffled sound from the older boy's throat. 

"Don't try to talk, just a minute, just let me get this off of you", Dan said, trying to stifle the fear in his voice. 

Phil's head began to shake side to side. The sound from his throat was louder now and almost sounded like he was trying to say–

"No."

Dan whipped around and saw the man with the baseball bat. In a split second, his mind listed his options: fight or flight. The path to the front door was clear and he felt his body fill with tension as if he were about to run. Instead, he lunged left, throwing his body between the strange man and Phil.

"Get out!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. His voice was surprisingly strong and deep to his own ears. He could feel his knees trembling and his heart racing in his chest. 

He had nothing. No weapon, no plan. Just his mind and his body, both of which were working on pure adrenaline. 

"Sit down", the shadow barked at Dan "Pick up that zip tie and and cinch your left hand to the left leg of that chair". 

Dan froze in place. There was a pile of corded rope and white zip ties on the floor next to Phil's chair. His mouth went completely dry. The man had been waiting for him. 

"Slowly now", the shadow said as Dan leaned forward to pick up the tie. "And keep quiet or you'll get to know this bat really well". 

Dan picked up the zip tie and slowly stood back up. Keeping his eye on the bat, he backed slowly into the chair next to Phil and sat down. His mind racing, he bent forward as hesitantly as he could and put his left wrist up against the left front leg of the grey chair. Wrapping the tie around his wrist and the chair, he slowly pushed the tab through the pawl until he heard it click.

"Tighten it up, Daniel".

Dan closed his eyes and pulled it three more clicks until he felt it tighten firmly against his wrist. He was bound to the chair by his dominant hand and he had never felt so helpless in his entire life.

The shadowed man began to walk forward towards the two boys, ducking under the chandelier. 

"Please," began Dan in a soft and pleading voice.

WHAP sounded the bat as it landed with a thud on the wooden table top. Phil let out a muffled scream. 

"Next time you make a sound, I aim for your little friend's head. Understand, Daniel?"

Dan nodded quickly.

Within minutes, Dan's right hand was zip tied to the right front leg of the chair, leaving him hunched forward. His legs were bound together and then to the right front leg of the chair, far away from his dominant hand. He was finding it hard to take a deep breath in this position, and found himself focusing all of his attention on trying to take in enough air with each breath. 

The man tossed the bat on the couch and made his way upstairs without another word, leaving the two boys alone. Dan was tempted to cry out for help, but feared that the man would be able to get back to them and bash in Phil's head before anyone could respond to the alarm.

So they sat in silence. Phil breathing rapidly, Dan very slowly. 

And the minutes ticked by like molasses. 

Dan's hands and feet were beginning to fall asleep and his breathing was becoming more difficult. In his slumped forward position, his diaphragm could not fully expand, leaving him with less and less oxygen needed to fuel his racing heart. He feared he would pass out. He had to get his hand out of the zip tie. 

Phil was afraid as well. He knew what the man had threatened before Dan returned. He knew what would happen to Dan if either of them tried to escape. And he had no way of telling him. 

The crash from upstairs startled both of them, and also gave Dan an idea. If he could hear the man upstairs, he could struggle more forcefully on the ties without alerting the robber. 

He began to work.

Minutes later, his breath coming more quickly and shallowly and the veil of darkness and stars creeping into his peripheral vision, he stopped for a moment to get control of his breathing again. 

"Phil," he whispered in a tone so soft that Phil wasn't sure if he was hearing it or imagining it. "Phil, I've almost got it".

Phil shook his head violently.

"Yes, I'm nearly there. When I get free, I'll untie you and both of us can take him". 

Phil shook his head no again, this time so violently that his chair almost seemed to rock.

Dan's eyebrows furled. He was confused. Maybe Phil was so afraid that he wasn't thinking clearly. That had to be it. There was no telling how long he'd been there in that chair and what had happened to him before that. He didn't have time to figure this out. He had to get free. He focused on his breathing for another few minutes, then started again to work his wrist out of the tie.

Ten agonizing minutes later, his left hand was free! He worked quickly to break the tie off of his other hand, then began to unbind his feet.

"Going somewhere?"

The shadowy figure stood before him, bat in hand. How had he not heard him return? 

Phil began to whimper audibly.

Dan's eyes widened in pure terror as he heard his friends pitiful cries. 

"I was hoping you'd be stupid, Daniel, because I haven't had a good piece of ass in months."

The scream had only begun to escape Dan's mouth as the man's hand clamped down over it. The momentum pushed him backward, knocking the chair to the floor. The man landed on top of him, and for all his strength, he could not push him off. He felt his pants being ripped. He felt hands all over him. He felt his shorts being yanked off. He felt the chair and his legs being thrown to the side. He felt the carpet on his bare bottom In all of his life, he never felt so terrified. 

And then he felt nothing. The air above him was suddenly a vacuum. He saw only in blurs between blinks. There was a cracked blue object flying over him. There was a ceiling. There was a bloody wrist attached to a fist. There was a large body and a taller body. Then they were enmeshed. Then there was a roar. Then they were separate again. Then the tall body stood above him, alone.

Sound came back and he realized he had been screaming. 

"Dan, Dan, Dan. Dan, it's okay, it's over. Dan, look at me. Dan," it was Phil's voice.

The police said they didn't understand how a man with a dislocated elbow and a fractured wrist could have fought such a large man and won. The police said they had never seen anyone break a chair apart like that, especially strong blue plastic. The police said that that they had been looking for this serial rapist for months since he had escaped from prison. The police said both Dan and Phil were very lucky they hadn't been his prey. The police said a lot of other things, but Dan wasn't really listening. He didn't need to. He had been there and seen it. He had seen what happened. 

Later that night, after he his cuts and bruises had been tended to, he knocked softly on Phil's hospital room door and pressed it open.

"Hi?" he said, cautiously.

"Hi," came the hoarse reply.

"They said I could see you for a few minutes"

"Come in"

Dan crossed the room and took stock of his friend. Bruised and battered, bones reset and cast, wounds cleaned and dressed, eyes weary but still somehow smiling. 

Dan sat down in the chair to the side of Phil's bed and reached for his left hand. Phil grasped Dan's right hand and held it.

"Between the two of us, we have no good hands now," joked Phil with a little laugh.

Dan exhaled a little laugh, "Yeah". 

"Are you going to be okay?" Dan asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a few bones to heal up and I'll be back to normal. ... How about you? Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh, yeah," Dan answered dismissively, "just a few cuts on my wrist from the plastic tie is all. I'm fine."

"Good".

"Dan, thank you."

"What? For what? For not running for help when I could have? For not listening to you? Phil," Dan began in an obviously rehearsed apology, "I'm so sorry that I didn't–"

"Dan, stop. You could have run but you came for me instead. You could have screamed and maybe even gotten away, but you acted for me instead. Thank you."

Silence filled the room, but was not awkward between the two friends. Phil knew Dan well, and knew to give him time to speak.

Finally, Dan began. "Phil, I've never been so scared in all of my life. I thought he was going to–I mean, he was trying to–I fought so hard and I couldn't–" and he broke down in tears. "Thank you, Phil" he managed to say, and then he dropped his head onto their clasped hands and began to sob.

Phil laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, the pain medicine starting to make him sleepy. "It's okay Dan," he heard himself say, "I am your lion. I will always protect you."

As Phil drifted off to sleep, Dan raised his head and looked in awe at his friend. His protector. His lion. And he took a deep breath in, and then he let it out slowly. 

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Breathe Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the days after the break-in, Dan and Phil process what happened and their relationship grows closer. 
> 
> Type: Comfort, flashbacks, violence
> 
> Triggers: mentions of attempted rape, injuries, burglary, bondage, PTSD.

Neither boy could sleep. The pain medicine Phil took before bed barely touched the excruciating pain of his fractured wrist and dislocated elbow. And Dan, Dan was having bad dreams again.

Both lay in their separate rooms staring at their ceiling and reliving the events of just a few days ago.

Earlier that day, they had bought a new blue chair together. It seemed empowering. They were taking back their lives from the man who almost took theirs.

The apartment was still a wreck but it looked better than it had the night of the attack. A new TV had been ordered, the chandelier lights had been replaced, and the torn clothing had been thrown away. The physical signs were fading, but the emotional wounds were still raw.

In his room, lying on his back, Dan placed his hand across his chest and felt his heart racing. The counselor said it was normal to relive the attack for the first few days. He said it was normal to have bad dreams and that this was a sign that his brain was processing the event. But that didn't make it any easier. Although he had not completed the act, the rapist had ripped off Dan's clothes and had been mere moments away from violating him. Phil, using strength he still could not explain, had dislocated his own elbow and fractured his own wrist as he broke free from his bindings to save his friend. Dan would be forever grateful, and he knew that that was the feeling he should be dwelling on. Instead, he felt guilty for his friend's injuries, and afraid because he had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life.

Phil, in his own room, stared at his ceiling reliving the events as well. His bad dreams came just as frequently, though he didn't mention them to Dan. The immobility for hours as he was tied to the blue chair, and the helplessness he felt for both himself and for Dan still haunted him. He still didn't know how he got out of that chair. But he remembered clearly knowing that he was not going to let his friend get hurt and that's all it took. He had not even felt the pain until the ambulance workers arrived.

Dan had been babying him the past few days, serving him food, helping him bathe and dress–and he really did need the help. Without his right arm, he felt like he couldn't do anything for himself.

After about three hours of staring at the ceiling, he decided to get out of bed and go down to the lounge. He was surprised to find Dan already there in his sofa crease, browsing the Internet.

"Oh, hi," said Phil

"Hi" answer Dan. "Sorry, did I wake you? I tried to be quiet."

"No, I've been awake, said Phil as he sat down next to Dan on the couch.

There was a long silence.

"Phil," Dan asked hesitantly, "is this ever going to get any easier?"

Phil looked into Dan's eyes and said, "I don't know. It's hard. I still can't believe any of it happened."

"You've never told me what happened to you, you know," said Dan. "And I'm not pushing," he added quickly, "I just want you to know that you always can if you want to talk about it."

"There's not much to tell," said Phil softly. And the silence returned.

Dan suddenly felt adrenaline surge through his body. "Phil? Did he hurt you? I mean did he...?"

"No," said Phil quietly.

"You can tell me, you know, if he did."

"He tried", said Phil, "but... I don't want to talk about it."

"OK," said Dan. 

Phil leaned in closer to Dan and rested his head on the younger boy's shoulder. He took a deep breath in and then slowly let it out. A few minutes passed in silence.

"I was upstairs and I heard someone knock at the front door," Phil began, softly, his eyes staring ahead at nothing but the memory he was reliving, "I went down and saw him through the peephole and he said he had a delivery for you. So I open the door. The next thing I knew, he had one hand around my head and one clamped over my mouth and he was kicking the door closed behind him."

"Jesus," said Dan quietly.

"Yeah," said Phil.

"He drug me up the stairs and threw me down on the floor in front of the sofa – right here actually," he indicated by his foot on the carpet.

"He pushed me down onto my knees, and then he kicked me in the stomach"

"Phil! Did you get that checked out? Did he break anything?"

"I told them. It's just a bruised spleen. It's fine".

"OK," said Dan. "I'm sorry, go on." 

Phil continued in a monotone as his eyes lost their focus, "The kick twisted me around and I landed on the floor on my stomach. All of a sudden, he was on top of me and trying to pull down my jeans. I heard myself scream "No!" and then I felt the handkerchief being shoved into my mouth. I kept struggling and after what felt like forever, he gave up trying to get my jeans off. He squatted on top of me, pinning my arms to the floor with his legs, and taped my mouth closed. Then he grabbed my arms and zip tied them together at the wrists. He got off of me and I was hoping he would just leave me there and go, but instead he drug me to the dining room by my hair and I had to scramble onto my knees so he didn't break my neck."

Dan felt Phil's breathing speed up. 

"After he tied me to the chair, he went to search the house. He was gone for a few minutes and then he came back down with the blindfold. As he was covering my eyes, he leaned down to my ear and I could feel his breath on my neck as he whispered, 'If you try to get away–if I come down here and see you've made one tiny movement, even one inch–I'll rape you, Phil. And when your friend comes home, the same goes for him." 

Dan swallowed hard.

Phil continued, "I heard him ravage the house and I just prayed that you wouldn't come home until he had left. I was so scared, Dan. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to warn you. I was afraid that the gag was going to slip down my throat and I would choke to death. I was afraid I had already moved an inch without knowing it. I was afraid that he would change his mind and come back down and try to..."

Phil's voice faded out. Dan put his arm around Phil's neck and pulled him in closer. And waited.

 

"I didn't hear you come in. I didn't know you were there until you started talking to me. And I was trying to tell you not to untie me and to get out of there but I couldn't make any intelligible sounds. I was so scared Dan. I was scared for you and I was scared for me."

"What I can't figure out," said Dan, "is how he knew us to begin with."

"I don't know either," said Phil. "But he definitely knew my name right away, Just as he knew yours."

Suddenly, Phil started trembling.

"Phil, are you OK?"

"No," said Phil, "No, I am not OK," he said, his voice cracking. "He was going to rape me, Dan. He was going to rape you. He might've killed both of us afterwards. We're so vulnerable. I feel like I'm never going to be safe again. I feel like even if we lived in a vault he could break in and get us. I feel like I never want to make another video again. I never want to put on another show. I don't want to go on the US tour. I just want to go somewhere safe and never leave the house again. Never answer the door. Never talk to anyone else that I don't know.

And then he broke down and sobbed.

Dan was stunned. Phil was always his rock. Phil didn't show much emotion. Even right after the attack, it was Phil who comforted Dan. It was Phil who cracked the first joke at the hospital. Dan thought Phil has been handling things just fine. But apparently, he had been wrong.

"Come here Phil," Dan said softly. And he wrapped his arms around the older boy's shoulders, snuggling his head into his chest as he sobbed.

After about 5 minutes, Dan said, "I want to tell you that it will be OK but I don't know if it ever will be."

Phil nodded.

"But I know one thing, and that is that we will always have each other. I will always be your protector and you will always be mine." 

Phil nodded again, this time trying to speak but unable to collect himself and letting out another sob instead.

"It's OK," said Dan, "you don't have to talk". And he held onto Phil a little tighter, passing the hours in silence, and taking comfort in each other until long after the sun rose over London. 

A few weeks later, the apartment look as good as it had before the attack. Phil's arm was out of the cast and feeling a lot better. The bad dreams were coming less frequently now, although both of them always jumped when someone knocked at the front door.

The most significant change was their sleeping arrangements. Without anyone having to say a word, they found themselves sleeping in the same bed. They would stay up late talking and fall asleep in whatever bed was closest. They would wrap their arms around each other and fall asleep. Two boys with messy hair and long arms encircling one another's shoulders, fighting away the bad dreams. Keeping each other safe. Always.


End file.
